Are dippin’ dots still the ice cream of the future? Have they finally reached the present? Or did I miss it all, and they’re actually in the past? Honestly, I never really liked dippin’ dots. And I don’t really appreciate that they’re causing me to have an existential crisis over a dumb tagline choice probably made by someone who thinks dumb things are funny (AKA me. It could have been me).
Can we defer the presidential election? Honestly, I just feel like it’s not quite ready for the harsh pressures of running America and it needs some time to really figure out who it is and what it wants out of life. Why does it have to give into the social pressures from 200+ years ago? That seems unfair to the presidential election, who very obviously just needs some time off to relax.
Why do I like bell peppers so much? There was a time where I absolutely hated them and refused to go anywhere near them. Now I think about them all the time. I actually plan my meals based on whether I can put bell peppers in them. What the hell happened? Did my taste buds have an identity crisis? Honestly taste buds, what do you see in them? I mean they’re OK but I just don’t understand why you love them so much. I’m not trying to judge, I just think maybe you could do better, that’s all. There are plenty of vegetables in the sea / the refrigerated section of the grocery store.
Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans. Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans. Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans. Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans. Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans. Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans. Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans………
I don’t understand my cat’s addiction to rubber bands. Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong as a parent? Did I steer her down this path of no return? Sometimes she tries to hide them from me and I find them in weird places, like under my bathroom rug or in an air vent. Sometimes she will blatantly wave them in my face, waltzing into my room, carrying them in her mouth as though she’s proud of herself. Sometimes I feel like she wants me to take part in her weird habits. I just honestly don’t know where to go from here.
Why do I always get so hungry at night? I shouldn’t go get a snack. I don’t want to get up. But I’m so hungry… I could have some potato chips. Or maybe some popcorn. Oh, and I think there might be some jell-o left in the fridge. But if I eat it and then go to bed I will probably get a stomach ache. But if I don’t eat, I might get a headache from the intense hunger that comes with not having eaten for a whole three hours. What do I do? How do I fix this situation?
Alright. I’m going to end this here and go get a snack.