Things change. You may already think you know that, but you don’t. Regardless, please stop worrying so much about what tomorrow and next month and next year are going to look like. Focus on the now. Everything will be ok in the end.
When you start out, your thoughts will be engrossed in making friends, finding a boyfriend, and “reinventing” yourself. Tip: Don’t try so hard. People will like you, I promise. Also, heads up, there’s this boy and he’s going to like you, and you’re going to like the attention. Things aren’t going to go the way you plan, but a few years down the road you’re going to remember this “heartbreak” as the thing that taught you more than any class ever could. Trust yourself, follow your instincts, and don’t change a single thing. You’re doing your best.
The next year, you’re going to try and be nice, and you’re going to be afraid to hurt people. But this is where you learn to look out for yourself, and that it’s totally OK to be alone. And you’re going to love the freedom and being able to focus on finding yourself. Maybe you break a heart or two along the way, but he’ll forgive you, and you’re allowed to focus on yourself. But buckle up, because you’ll still be on the roller coaster of “figuring yourself out” six years later. But trust yourself, follow your instincts, and don’t change a single thing. You’re doing your best.
The third year, you’ll start to realize everyone you really care about doesn’t care so much about you. Even though it doesn’t seem like it now, they do care. They just don’t realize what they’re missing out on. Let them make the same mistakes you did. You’re doing the right thing in standing up for yourself. A few of them will realize what they’ve lost. Some of them won’t. But that’s OK. Trust yourself, follow your instincts, and don’t change a single thing. You’re doing your best.
Your last year may be your hardest one yet. I wish I could give you a heads up, to somehow cushion the blow when you realize all your hopes and expectations aren’t going to happen. You’re going to embark on a 3+ year detour that I can’t assure you yet whether or not it’s going to work out. But even though I don’t know for sure, I believe it will all be OK. Because this detour may be scary, but I think we’re going to realize that we’ve gotten out of our comfort zone and found things we wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. So maybe it will all work out better in the end than we planned.
So trust yourself, follow your instincts, and don’t change a single thing. You’re doing your best.
P.S. I know you think your mom will kill you if you bring that cat home, but please do it. I will never forgive you if you don’t.